22.6.13

What It Truly Means to 'Go'

When I first heard the term "Go," it was over a year ago when I was applying for the 6 month Africa Immersion program through Experience Mission. I was challenged time and time again by the word. To step outside of my American culture, experience life from a different perspective and live for God. What I would come to learn over the next year as I headed to Africa and returned six months later, is that "go" doesn't always mean to move, to pass, to move out or away. To "go" can also mean to stay, to stay in the place that God has placed you in.
When I made the slow recovery back into the American lifestyle and culture in the beginning of 2014, all I wanted to do was be back in Africa. To be back in a place where I felt I was making a difference. To be in a place where I felt like I belonged, even though I was one of very few white people in most of the places. God had never spoken so loudly to me when I was at my lowest points in Africa. But being back in the States, I had met a new kind of low. I wondered where God was, why I was back in a culture that I found myself questioning like never before and why was He so silent after we had been on so many wonderful and hard journeys together?
God had told me to "go," but now I was simply standing still. I felt as though my purpose was in Africa, not in America. So why was I back in a country that I didn't feel I belonged in anymore? Why did God bring me back here?

God answered me through Job 6: 24, which states:  "Teach me, and I will be silent; make me understand how I have gone astray." (ESV)
God told me that my way of "going" was to be still and to stay exactly where I was. To be content with where He had placed me. That sometimes, staying and being still is the true challenge. The greatest challenge I faced on my journey of Africa was not the crazy food, the blazing temperatures, or the cross-cultural differences. The true challenge was coming back to the state of Colorado and being content with where I was everyday. 
In Matthew 6:31-33, He challenges us to "not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’" And to simply, "seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added..." 
Once again, He knew myself better than I ever would. God knew that the greatest challenges were simply trusting, to let the worry disappear. In the end, all would be provided. Less than six months later, I once again sit at a table where I once sat. I sit at Many Waters Missions in Water Flow, New Mexico, our community before we headed to Africa. I am now Summer Staff for Experience Mission and the beauty of God's plan blows my mind away. 
Memories and old adventures flood back to my mind as I have gone from place to place over the past few days. Seeing Pastor Daniel Smiley of Black Mountain Mennonite Church and the wisdom he has to offer all people he comes into contact with. Seeing the joy and passion Pastor JR Wilson of House of Joy in Black Mesa has for his church, Christ and the community all around him. And even seeing the children of the Reservation and how many of them are wiser than their years has made me fall in love with the Navajo Reservation all over again. 
Seeking God's kingdom has placed me on the Navajo Reservation, once again. Doing what I love; building relationships and truly looking the widow, the homeless man, and 'others' in they eye and listening to their remarkable story. Sitting still can be the greatest challenge of "going." 

16.6.13

Last Place, How Bad Do You Want It?

As Outreach Coordinator, I knew for a fact, that my job would be a breeze. I am an extravert (sometimes loud and obnoxious) with a passion of loving and spending time with people. Kid's Club? I would obviously rock that. I had run programs for years and kids loved my awkward personality. The week before I had planned to pick up 30 kids from different locations around the community. I was organized and ready for the first team to arrive. I had heard a lot about the team from Atlanta, another EM summer staff member, William (who is working in Joplin) was from the Atlanta church and he had told me all about their team leader and her fiery personality. She had a passion for her youth group and had done dozens of EM Summer trips. William told me to match her fiery personality with my equally spunkiness and we would get along wonderfully.

The team arrives on Sunday and I love Allison (the team leader) almost immediately. She was organized, had a system, but was flexible and willing to work with us as we learned the ropes of the community and our new jobs and responsibilities.  Monday rolls around for Kid's Club and it was a disaster. I had rounded up four out of the 30 kids that planned on attending. The rest of the week was the same sort of disaster. I felt completely helpless, I was doing the right things and trying to do my job as Outreach Coordinator, but I was continuing to fail in all that I did. I could only continue to apologize over and over to the teams for the way things were turning out. Allison was a God-send; she was understanding, patient and kind-hearted for all the troubles I was going through. On Wednesday night, I opened my Bible out of frustration. All I could do is ask God, "Why? Why is this happening?" 

I opened up to Matthew 20:16 and read, "So the last will be first, and the first last.” I felt as though God was opening up my eyes to truly live for him. Love with brotherly affection and do everything for Him. Being an avid soccer player, I knew all about first place. I strived for it not only on the field, but also in all aspects of life. It is said that second place is the first loser... But in God's Kingdom we are called to be last. Last place, huh? I didn't want it bad enough. I was striving to come in first place all week; making Atlanta's trip stupendous and the community feeling dignified. But God reminded me that last place is where He truly wanted me to be. To feel as though I had to rely on God for everything and serve Him in even the most difficult situations. To continue to serve His Kingdom in impossible situations and in the best situations. 

God calls us to love the unwanted, the 'others,' to meet people where they are at and put all of them first. It is much simpler to put them first, than to put ourselves last. Last place... how bad do you want it?

5.6.13

The 'Other'

I stepped out of the church service just months after my trip to Africa, took a sigh of relief and smiled. I had just gotten out of a service challenging the hundreds in the congregation to serve our neighbor. The story of the Good Samaritan was only one of the examples that was given. I had been trying to re-enter the American society slowly and it had been a discouraging journey.

Just days after I had returned, I had heard complaints of not having first class on a thirty minute flight, the long lines at Walmart and unending traffic. I simply rolled my eyes and muttered, "First world problems...." But after the church service, I had finally received a light at the end of the tunnel, maybe I could find my place in the States after a life-altering experience in Africa.
As the congregation and I started towards our cars, we all encountered a homeless man, woman and their dog. Seeing the reaction of the people ahead of me in the bustling crowd, you would have assumed they were invisible. No one seemed to notice the pain-staking pneumonia cough of the woman, the numerous ribs protruding from the dog, or the white toes that popped out of the worn out shoes of the man. They simply brushed past them, for differing reasons that I didn't understand.

Having no fear or discomfort of homeless people, I casually walked up to them after being much inspired to encourage my neighbor. I had learned to truly look in the widow's, the homeless man's, the cripple's, and the elderly's eye and listen. To know their story, to learn from them and simply love as Christ does.
After being introduced to Rose, Chris and Tango (the dog), I was pushed and brushed by the moving crowd. I had now become one of 'the others,' one that didn't seem to exist. We received a few sideways glances, but were formally ignored. As a middle class, white American living in Colorado, being out of place was hard to come by for me. I had become an 'other' and didn't know what to think. I ended my conversation with Rose and Chris, a short 30 minutes later by encouraging them to stop by the homeless shelter where I volunteered with the Salvation Army on Wednesday nights. They could receive a hot meal, we could talk more and I could learn more of Rose's jokes. They promised to attend, unless something came up.

As I left, I was puzzled, they never asked me for money, they didn't tell me a sob story, or any of the other stereotypical homeless generalizations. Chris was reserved and shy, while Rose was a boisterous character. They were true people; they weren't homeless people, they were people that didn't have a home. They were a person first and foremost. I didn't like being invisible or being given sideways glances by middle class Christians, who had just sat in the same church service I had. I was enraged, how could these wonderful people like Rose and Chris be labeled as the outcasts of society? How could the 'Christians' who had just been challenged to step outside of their comfort zone and love their neighbor forget and reject what they just heard? Why weren't they the outcasts?

God once again challenged me, wasn't I doing the same thing? I stepped out of that service thinking I was doing the right thing and talking to Rose, Chris and petting a grungy looking dog. In the end, I was just as hypocritical as the Christians, I was holding bitterness in my heart for my neighbor. In Leviticus 19:18 it states, "You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself..." It was easy for me to love one neighbor, but I bore a grudge against my view of the hypocritical Christian, when I was being even more of a hypocrite.

Since volunteering and now working for Experience Mission, I have been faced with societies 'others.' As a summer staff member on the Navajo Reservation this summer, I know I will be faced with uncomfortable situations and possibly facing my 'other.' God has called us to meet his people where they are in life. Whether it is the elderly Navajo widow who needs a new roof, the bare footed child, or the middle class Christian, God calls us to love our neighbor; warts and all.