What It Truly Means to 'Go'

When I first heard the term "Go," it was over a year ago when I was applying for the 6 month Africa Immersion program through Experience Mission. I was challenged time and time again by the word. To step outside of my American culture, experience life from a different perspective and live for God. What I would come to learn over the next year as I headed to Africa and returned six months later, is that "go" doesn't always mean to move, to pass, to move out or away. To "go" can also mean to stay, to stay in the place that God has placed you in.

When I made the slow recovery back into the American lifestyle and culture in the beginning of 2014, all I wanted to do was be back in Africa. To be back in a place where I felt I was making a difference. To be in a place where I felt like I belonged, even though I was one of very few white people in most of the places. God had never spoken so loudly to me when I was at my lowest points in Africa. But being back in the States, I had met a new kind of low. I wondered where God was, why I was back in a culture that I found myself questioning like never before and why was He so silent after we had been on so many wonderful and hard journeys together?

God had told me to "go," but now I was simply standing still. I felt as though my purpose was in Africa, not in America. So why was I back in a country that I didn't feel I belonged in anymore? Why did God bring me back here?

God answered me through Job 6: 24, which states:  "Teach me, and I will be silent; make me understand how I have gone astray." (ESV)

God told me that my way of "going" was to be still and to stay exactly where I was. To be content with where He had placed me. That sometimes, staying and being still is the true challenge. The greatest challenge I faced on my journey of Africa was not the crazy food, the blazing temperatures, or the cross-cultural differences. The true challenge was coming back to the state of Colorado and being content with where I was everyday. 

In Matthew 6:31-33, He challenges us to "not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’" And to simply, "seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added..." 

Once again, He knew myself better than I ever would. God knew that the greatest challenges were simply trusting, to let the worry disappear. In the end, all would be provided. Less than six months later, I once again sit at a table where I once sat. I sit at Many Waters Missions in Water Flow, New Mexico, our community before we headed to Africa. I am now Summer Staff for Experience Mission and the beauty of God's plan blows my mind away. 

Memories and old adventures flood back to my mind as I have gone from place to place over the past few days. Seeing Pastor Daniel Smiley of Black Mountain Mennonite Church and the wisdom he has to offer all people he comes into contact with. Seeing the joy and passion Pastor JR Wilson of House of Joy in Black Mesa has for his church, Christ and the community all around him. And even seeing the children of the Reservation and how many of them are wiser than their years has made me fall in love with the Navajo Reservation all over again. 

Seeking God's kingdom has placed me on the Navajo Reservation, once again. Doing what I love; building relationships and truly looking the widow, the homeless man, and 'others' in they eye and listening to their remarkable story. Sitting still can be the greatest challenge of "going."